We Are All Caregivers

I am sure Joule and I connected because we both have come to understand that our role as caregiver is a treasure, a gift of experience, that each one of us on this planet gives to another out of love. She taught me that we are here to walk beside others, encouraging them to do what they can, as long as they can. Grateful for this angel.

I am happy to introduce you to Joule, our exceptional PSW and our first guest author.

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We Are All Caregivers

“Where do I begin. My job is like a blank canvas, you just never know what you’re going to get. Of course, every patient is different, with different issues, therefore you must be ready for the challenges.

I see the good in everything, sometimes the situation is grim, but, of course, I see the positives.

I go in with a big smile; I introduce myself. Then I enter their world. I follow the protocol. I get to insert myself, my spin on things. I always attempt to reach my patient where they are.

Whether they are verbal or non-verbal, or have a language barrier; male or female, young or old, they all have something in common: they have a need. I address that need in whatever capacity.

In addition, I always express myself by lifting the atmosphere, whether it is with laughter, conversation, or it could just be something in the room. Everyone has likes and interests and sometimes it’s the painting on the wall, elephants in the room, cars, vases, décor or just a photo that opens the door to our conversation.

My goal in administering care is always to leave something positive with my client. Often times we speak about what is going on that day. Sports, weather or current events. Everyone needs to feel some level of comfort. It could be in motioning as they sit, stand, or just take a step. It all translates into letting them know that you care for them.

The joy in knowing the exchange between patient and caregiver ends on a positive note, gives me satisfaction and encourages me to continue to serve.

Being a part of the chain of care leaves me with an assurance that when the need arises, any patient can depend on me, or any caregiver, because we all serve in the same capacity.

We are all caregivers. We are going to need care. We have been a caregiver or will be a caregiver at some point.”  

Joule (c) 2019.

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I have mentioned before that it was nearly five years following My Love’s diagnosis when we finally were allocated professional support from the Provincial Health program. My Love had been through varied illnesses, doctor visits, testing and hospital stays, so many anxiety attacks in addition to increasing aggression toward me, generated from his progressing dementia. I was slipping off the end of my rope.

In my early retired life, I never dreamed I would have to take 100% care of another human being again, not for a short time, not for twenty-four hours, and certainly not for years. But so much had been revealed to me as caregiver, beyond illness and pain, that my perspective went from fear to acceptance.

We were surviving, but at times I wondered how. Somehow, humans seem to rise to the occasion, whatever the need. We “carry on and survive.”

In the process of caring for My Love, I met so many wonderful people in the care industry. They were the folks who really did care about other human beings. It took a long time, the better part of my entire life, to figure that out. … but I ‘got there!’

I began to understand how much of themselves these caregivers were giving when My Love was showing serious aggression. I felt threatened and was at my most vulnerable. I was not sure which one of us needed help and care more. 

I noticed it was the medical and health care professionals, psychotherapists, the personal care workers, the service workers, the non-profit caretakers, and those who support them and in many cases, those who serve those who support everyone else, who were the ones making a difference in our lives. I had never met so many care-focused individuals. 

I always say the Universe has guided my life. This turning point in our life was no different.

My Love and I both needed help and care, tangible, serious support. It was not long before my cry for help, my final reach ‘across the stony, slippery rocks,” was answered. 

To my surprise, our personal service worker, our PSW angel, was assigned to support, to serve, not just My Love, but both of us. She accepted the mission to bring love and care back into our life. I watched as she observed My Love's memory loss levels, an area I had been neglecting because of exhaustion and perhaps a bit of apathy after so many years. I could feel she was refueling my being so I could carry on my role. At first, her efforts lasted for the days between her visits. And then her love and energy lasted week to week. I felt the positive energy she always left us with continue as a tonic for my caregiving ahead. She had become my caregiver, as well as a role model for me.

How fortunate we were to have weekly support from such a capable, knowledgeable, caring, beautiful soul and I had been given the chance to watch her in action. 

I asked her what her magic was, and thus, we spent hours talking about her role and the gift of caregiving. I felt her genuine caring nature lifted me up from wherever it was I had fallen. She definitely was a jewel.

So naturally, when I had an opportunity, I asked her to share her magic. Support can be different for different people depending on their need, physical abilities, daily living activities, personal grooming and care required. In our case, she was filling an emotional need, filling our souls with love and energy to carry on, as well as being on alert for unknowns related to My Love's diseases and mine. We have been blessed.

Do something each day that makes your heart sing. jas

Original photograph in post by Mabel Amber, still incognito...from Pixabay